那个手势，那个高高举起作势要赏给我巴掌的手势，那个常常出现在我记忆的半空中 的手势，那个每逢过年过节拜拜的时候便烫伤我的心，令我不住流泪的手势……
它是那年黄历所谓鬼月某次拜拜的时候出现的。是我父亲做出的手势。就在旧居三合 院的前埕里。拜拜正在进行。我父亲照例喊我过去，把已点燃的香递给我，要我拜拜。
“拜什么？拜嘴孔啦！”
那时，我正是会胡乱用笔给张飞的人像加画眼镜，给周仓的人像加画胡子的年纪，会拿草叶或鸡羽毛去挠午睡中的大人的鼻孔，吵醒然后拔腿而逃的年纪， 尤其前几天才读过几篇反迷信的文章，满心叛逆思想；心中哪会有鬼神的存在？哪会顺从地接香拜拜？父亲听罢，立刻高举起右手，动作极大，声色俱厉，作势要赏给我 一个巴掌，却突然僵在那里，令我惊讶不已。
后来我才知道，那个手势，那个作势要赏给我巴掌的手势，原来是挣扎在传统和 现代间的手势，系着假权威和真呵护的手势，犹豫在严责和慈爱的手势，并且也是常 出现在我记忆的半空中的手势，每逢过年过节的时候便烫伤我的心，令我不住流泪的手势……。
只是，唉，它的主人呢？它的主人呢？
1997、3、31、台时副刊
The Gesture of the Hand Hsu ChiCheng
The gesture of the hand, the gesture, the gesture which lifts on high makes a sign to give me a slap, the gesture which often appears on the sky of my memory, the gesture when kowtow to celebrate the new year or festival of the lunar calendar which burns my mind, make me tearing successively…
It’s appeared one time of kowtow in the so call ghost month of the lunar calendar. It’s the gesture made by my father. It’s in the three-closured yard of my old house. The kowtow is under way. My father ordered me as usual to him, gave me the joss stick, want me to kowtow.
“For what may kowtow? Kowtow for the mouth!”
On that time, I am at the age like to take a pen to add a glass on Zhang Fei’s portrait recklessly, to pain moustaches on Zhou Cang’s portrait, at the age like to take a grass or cow plume to scratch the nostril of the adult who was napping, and then quit at once as he was awakened, especially some days ago I have read some pieces of composition about anti-superstition, rebel thought full within the mind; how can existing of the ghost or the god? How can I submit to receive the joss stick to kowtow? On hearing this word, father lifts on high his right hand immediately, very large in action, severe in voice and countenance, made a sign to give me a slap, but became rigid there, let me got very surprised.
I know later on, the gesture, the gesture which made a sign to give me a slap, originally the gesture struggled between tradition and modern, the gesture tied with false authority and true shield, the gesture hesitate between censure severely and affection, and the gesture often appears on the sky of my memory, the gesture when kowtow to celebrate the new year or festival of the lunar calendar which burns my mind, make me tearing successively…
Just now, ah, where is the holder of it? Where is the holder of it? @*
责任编辑：林芳宇
